Stupid Kids

I’ve been around quite a few years, 63 to be exact, and I can’t stand little snot nosed brat kids! Kids are spoiled nowadays! From the moment they’re born all they do is distract people’s wives from their husbands. My wife for instance, never smiles at me anymore, but she lights up around the “kid”. It’s worse when they start to grow too. They learn English in three years yet when I try to learn a language it takes 10! They start school at 4 and are sad when they go!? Good riddance I say!
	You think that when they leave you’d get a little rest, but no! The wife has to make you set up swing sets, bicycles, playhouses, forts, and other wastes of my precious time. My recommendation is never to bother with children! They really put a damper on everyone’s lives. The worst part is yet to come if you thought you were brave enough to have one. The teenage years are hell on earth; I can tell you!
	Society says it starts at 13 and end at 21, but it can last till them sniveling rate are close to my age! They steal all the alcohol I want to drink, yell and scream and pierce themselves with ear rings and other piercing. Back in my day during the war we had more sense than that! We had to stay alive in that Vietnamese Jungle, so drugs were only a necessity and alcohol was our water! We knew self-reliance and could fend for ourselves/ Kids have to rely on their parents or some imaginary friend called G-O-D! And, they can’t even provide food , shelter, or happiness for themselves. Teenagers poison our streets too. They’re younger, more alert, more versatile, and shouldn’t be permitted on the road! Speaking of the road,  I hate when I’m going down the road and some juvenile with their music blaring comes up behind me at some heathen speed! So what if I can’t read the speedometer. 35 is a good universal speed! I also can’t stand the ones on bikes! When I was a kid we had to walk 15 miles to school, in Blizzards! Now kids ride bikes and slow down my twice a day trip to therapy or to visit the pharmacy! 
	At home I can’t even take an afternoon nap! After school let’s out I’m tortured by the sounds of sneakers at basketball courts and little ping and pongs from the arcade! I don’t understand what’s so interesting about bouncing a ball full of air or dodging bullets to kill some imaginary fiend.
	Oh, and my yard falls victim to those stupid kids all the time. Their baseball games always lead to trudging into my yard with muddy cleats and bothering me and my radio broadcasts to ask to get their stupid ball! Why can’t they sit inside and listen to the radio quietly and mind their own business! 
	The List endlessly goes on, but the number one thing I hate is the “good” ones. Good is a lie. They knock on my door talking about the imaginary friend GOD and ask if I need help with my household chores as if I’m old or something! They try to sell me bibles, and candy bars and all that other filth! I’m so fed up with little smelly stupid kids!

-Devin Quesenberry
AGE 17